Complaining is a pointless activity for me. In my opinion, it's a huge waste of time, thought, and breath.
I guess some people enjoy complaining and apparently it brings them joy, so that's great for them. More power to them.
There are 3 big reasons why I don't complain:
- I have full control of my life; if I complain, I consider it admitting that I don't.
- I don't expect anything from anyone, so I'm never disappointed.
- I am extremely grateful for everything I have.
1. I accept responsibility for my life and the choices that I make.
I wouldn't complain that I hate my job. I chose the job. I read the job description. I went to the interview. I show up to the job every day. I know how my superiors treat me... no one is holding a gun to my head. I can leave anytime I want. I have full control — I have nothing to complain about.
In the same way, I wouldn't complain that my roommate didn't do the dishes. If the dishes are bothering me so damn much, I can do them myself. I can move out. I can get a new roommate. I can dump the dishes on their bed. I have full control... I have nothing to complain about.
I wouldn't complain anything for all the same reasons. I wouldn't complain that a client doesn't pay me. I wouldn't complain that I don't have time to do the things that I want. I wouldn't complain that my product isn't selling. I wouldn't complain that I'm not getting the results that I want. I wouldn't complain that my parents don't let me drop out of school...
I control my schedule. I choose what things I do or do not do. I can cut people out of my life. I can move. I can change my mind. I can decline/back out of/renegotiate agreements.
I know that every decision I make carries risk. I know that professionally: the market decides how good my product is and how good I am at what I do.
Everything that happens in my life is a direct result of the actions I did or didn't take* and I accept full responsibility for that.
I not only accept responsibility, I love having the responsibility. When it comes to my life I believe that responsibility = control. If I complained about things, I may as well say that someone or something else has control of my life... and I'm sure as hell not saying that.
2. I don't expect anything.
I also have probably some of the smallest expectations of anyone that I have ever met. I really don't expect anything from anyone or anything.
Long story short: you can't disappoint me. I never expected you to do anything to begin with.
I mean this literally and to an extreme. Even if I make a deal with someone (something that should be honored sacredly), I don't actually expect them to follow through with it. I prepare myself for a client not to pay, for being stabbed in the back, for an online order not to arrive on time or at all, a meeting to be called off after I've already arrived...
You cannot disappoint me.
And if I'm not disappointed, I have nothing to complain about.
To be clear, just because I don't expect anything of anyone:
- Doesn't mean that I don't expect anything of myself. I hold myself to the ultimate standard. My word is my bond.
- I do take heavy note of how people treat me. If someone doesn't live up to their word, I'm not going to work with them as much or at all in the future. On the flip side: I value people that do live up to their word like they were pure gold.
3. I appreciate everything I have.
Usually no less than once a week (sometimes every day), I take a few minutes to seriously ponder about how lucky I am.
I think about how bad many people that have lived in the past have had it, and how bad many people that are alive today have it right now... and I think to myself how outright stupid it would be for me to complain about anything considering how lucky I am to be be myself — how lucky I am just to be alive and healthy. It would be absolutely ridiculous to let such an incredible opportunity go to waste. Why the hell would I complain that the internet is out? I could have never been born... 🤷♂️
I also think about things like:
- How lucky I am to be able to breath, walk, eat food (we really tend to take these for granted)...
- How amazing it is that my 20+ year-old car can still drive me anywhere. How amazing it is that it rarely ever breaks down. Same goes for my 5+ year-old laptop and almost 2 year-old phone.
- How incredible technology is today.
- How awesome it is to have so many mind-blowing things at my disposal at any second. For example: I have millions of times more computing power in my almost 2 year-old phone than the first rocket ship which took people to the moon (the freaking moon!) 51 short years ago.
- Speaking of phones... how incredible it is that I can pull a little rectangle out of my pocket and within seconds be talking in real-time to someone on the other side of the planet, or buying and selling parts of companies, or watching a video which explains what the best way to kill a fish is... or how to dance like they do in Fortnite.
- How ludicrous it is that I can pay a few dollars and walk onto a machine which will literally FLY THROUGH THE AIR and physically take me just about anywhere on Earth in a matter of hours.
I'm so incredibly grateful that I'm living in a time where there ARE SO MANY GOD-DAMNED POSSIBILITIES...
This is the best time to be alive on Earth than any other that there ever has been. The internet literally allows just about ANYONE to become just about ANYTHING within their lifetime.
To top it off: I'm a white man that was born in the USA. How the hell could I possibly complain about anything?
If I amount to nothing in my life, it will be nobodies' fault but my own.
* I also realize that some things are really out of my control and may influence my life. I could be hit by a meteor tomorrow and die... But I also don't complain about the things that really are out of my control because... THEY REALLY ARE OUT OF MY CONTROL. I can't do anything about them. I have no reason to complain. To a certain point, I even think that if I really wanted to: I could control or influence just about anything... so if I really worry about or don't like something, then I should shut up or do something about it — not complain. Climate change, deforestation, etc... I hate them, but I won't complain about them because that changes nothing and I am doing nothing about them (at least not right now... 🤔).
Recognizing a problem and complaining are not the same thing.
I'm not saying that I never talk about things I don't like or when I feel something is wrong. The difference is: I don't talk negatively about something just for the hell of it.
Thank you for reading this post!
Wanna know a "secret"?
I didn't always have a no-tolerance policy when it came to complaining. A number of years back I saw a "silly" Facebook post that said "Go 24 hours without complaining (not even once) and see how your life starts changing." And I did it. It flipped a switch in my head. It made it so clear to me how pointless complaining is. Since then I can't remember the last time I complained about anything (non-sarcastically — I like making fun of complainers 😜).
Now I challenge you to do the same! Go 24 hours without complaining about ANYTHING — not even once. Tell me how it goes in the comments below. 😎👇
Have the best day!